Work secrets

 

So there is this guy that has been doing my head in the last few months in our office. The type who makes this funny slurping noise before he speaks, looks permanently ungroomed but is geared for greatness to the frustration of his equals (minions) and undying support of his managers (equals). I can see he has some very good points but not really good enough for his role.

Currently I’m trying to be the bigger person – yes, me, and its working because I put on weight on holiday so I AM bigger…

So on Friday he went for coffee for half an hour then came back and crashed around cleaning his desk for an hour then left to go on a long weekend at 11am. I probably wouldn’t really have noticed except he really WAS crashing around.

Open desk. Shut desk. Lock desk. Open desk. Shut desk. Lock desk.

He did this about ten times and the office was a tomb at the time so after the fourth time I realised something was up.

WHO locks their desk anyways? If you lose the key you have to break it open to get back in and its not exactly the best security system. I only do this when I go running and I don’t know who the cleaning staff/security are after hours and my purse is full of money. Which isn’t often to be fair. The running or the money thing.

So I asked, what is in his desk (natch at the pub at lunch).

‘I’ll give you three guesses’ says my colleague, ‘because I know what is in there’

It turns out the answer is SHOES. SHOES!!!

When he was made permanent and promoted, he bought a pair of shoes worth £500 and for some inexplicable reason stores them at work in his drawer and then locks them in…. even when he goes to the toilet. I’m unsure what shoes we are talking about as I would guess his most expensive pair to have cost maybe £120 at the most but hey. We dispute if its the blue suede ones or the 90s Freedom looking ones. Or the brown brogues. None of them look that expensive.

I think an iron and a haircut and shave would have been a better investment.