Monthly Archives: November 2015

Third world paranoia

So we moved house (again) and just before moving there was a last van load I refused to be party to as plus one and I under the tremendous strain of moving had had an epic falling out.

I had offered to move his belongings and he had refused and thereby ended the conversation and also any desire on my side to assist in his madness by playing removals person a day after I had already completed all my moving tasks.

So he trundled off to our cute but tiny studio in the centre of the city. A studio on the ground floor, overlooking the gardens where squirrels frolic with burglar bars that span the big picture window in the bedroom.

The landlord left strict instructions to keep the bars locked (they can be concertina’d back on demand) when out. After assessing the house, I declared we should keep the key around the corner where it wasn’t visible from the window. The side windows should also remain locked and only the tiny one on the top could be left open. Barring that, no valuables were to be in grabbing distance of the side windows.

Plus one ignored me and left lots of valuables next to closed but unlocked windows through our time there.

I also complained the small top window should be open in the bathroom but shut when we leave and DEFINITELY to keep the larger side opening one not just shut but locked at all times. It is possible for a small child to clamber through the small top window or for a long arm to reach to the bigger window latch but it would become slightly more futile for them if they couldn’t open the bigger window or the security gate once inside.

Plus one ignored me and left all the windows open in the bathroom, despite the convenient planter right outside the window.

Anyways. Turns out he laid his coat down on the last trip into the flat for his belongings. He then shut the door behind him and realised his phone, the van keys and his house keys to both places were in the coat.

He was debating how to ask a stranger for the loan of their phone and force me down there to open up.

Then he realised he could reach through the small window in the bathroom which he had left open and open the bigger window and climb through.

He is not the most petite of people bless him. He also fortunately does not look much like a burglar and despite facing a park and a road, apparently noone was about due to the cold.

So he climbed through and retrieved his coat. (And left the window unlocked when he left – AGAIN, although admittedly there was nothing really to steal at this point.)

It took all my energy to not say ‘I told you so.’

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Moving up in the world

I went to a networking party last night. It was sponsored by a group of recruiters who had managed to get hold of many crates of cider, beer and wine. For some reason they accumulated a tent like structure and a DJ but no snacks. I get the feeling someone owned the tent already and one of the hosts may freelance in music so it was all a bit on the fly.

I felt a bit like I was at a teenage house party. Zinc baths of booze and people crowding the stairs and corridor spaces guzzling out of bottles and plastic cups. I do not particularly miss those days.

It was a pleasant enough event and as they work in a fairly flexible space, groups of randoms not associated with the industry were also drifting around which was a pleasant distraction.

I did think though I really need to accelerate my career somehow. So that when I’m networking I’m in a nice hotel with canapes served by waiters wearing little dicky bows and its champagne not white wine.

We can all dream right?

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Arrival of Autumn

Footie has been posting pictures of magpies in her garden. Personally we have the squirrels. At least until we move house. I will miss them.

They are invader greys from the States and don’t tend to hibernate. Instead they fluff around outside in the garden making me wonder how many would be required to make nice fur mitts and a hat. They all look the same but I think I’ve started to spot individuals.

There is ‘normal’ squirrel who mostly acts like I have seen other squirrels do in gardens. He hops around bouncily and goes up and down the trees pausing now and again to contemplate life.

In the same bit of garden is ‘dementia’ squirrel. I believe a lot of squirrels are quite forgetful about where they bury things which is how many oak trees are planted. This little guy spent the better part of the summer frantically digging up various parts of the lawn in search of some lost treasure I never saw him find. I’m not sure WHY he was doing this either when there was an abundance of greenery at all other squirrels seemed to think was adequate eating. Now with autumn he’s been scurrying around with his cheeks stuffed full, barely able to keep the contents in place as he madly scrabbles for hiding places. Yet again, unable to settle on a location, he leaps (as far as one CAN leap with a huge mouthful of food practically bigger than one’s head) around seeking places to bury things. It usually takes about seven tries to find somewhere. I’m not sure if he thinks he’s being followed perhaps in some espionage way.

Then there is ‘parking lot’ squirrel and his friend. They tend to hang out the other side of the building where there’s very little green. They run along the top of the fences a lot and I swear I’ve seen this tough guy trying to sharpen his pearlies on the top of the metal chain link. These two seen to enjoy foraging in the bin and live on a diet of junk food and dirty water puddles in the parking area.

Either way the troop (or what is a trible/group/gathering of squirrels called collectively) are trapped in an island of green in a tiny park area. They seem quite happy and although I have seen especially parking lot squirrel try cross tarmac and under cars, natural selection dictates it’s not really wise with all the traffic.

I do wonder what happens when there are too many of them or how they deal with the slightly limited gene pool (I suspect there are at least five others I am seeing that I just THINK are the same four). But honestly, does it matter? They seem happy. Happier than me many mornings as they frolic around using their bushy tails to balance as they leap across the lawn. You can only envy their easygoing lifestyles.

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