Monthly Archives: October 2015

Define ‘Emergency’

My colleague chose to not come to work last week. He claimed he got stuck most the day in a waiting line at the clinic where they were taking walk ins. I have realised that your ability to get an appointment does tend to be based off coming up with the ‘right’ critical symptoms. For example, dripping blood due to a large cut in your hand is actually not a train smash. But if you have blood coming from some orifice that doesn’t normally seep fluids you get bumped up the queue. So you can publicly bleed to death in the waiting room but if you look fairly young and able bodied you will still probably be bounced in favour of an old grey haired guy with a walking stick, a screaming baby or a pregnant woman making gasping noises.

There is some strange dictate that exists along these lines on the road too. They tend to put the sirens on for erratic stretches of road that I think may be demarcated by some planning law I don’t understand. For example, the one ambulance service I used to live near never put the siren on on the street they were based on to not disturb the neighbours but one block down it was allowed.

They stopped the sirens blaring right in front of the station entrance today then started up again directly they were past it.

I don’t understand it.

The worst was the day they switched on the siren when they were RIGHT NEXT TO ME on a bicycle then switched it off again shortly after they had passed me.

Let me explain to you, when you are already NEXT to me and I was in your way, it is too late to indicate to me I was in the path. All that happens when you switch on something that is above a safe decibel level next to my ear is I almost fall off my bike to become the next casualty for you to pick up.

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Weirdest Sports Find

I went to John Lewis yesterday.

I like John Lewis. It’s sort of what Stutterfords used to be. It has the tagline ‘Never knowingly undersold’ and the shop has been known to pricematch against competitors before. The bonus to this is you get the reliability of their heavyweight name as well as the manufacturer guarantee when you buy through them.

They stock everything from clothing to vacuum cleaners to haberdashery to children’s cribs to perfumes.

We went to look at home furnishings. A¬†slightly depressing exercise because it was not the cheapest selection of sofas or curtains or kitchenware. There was little innovative but it was all very safe and quality and in some cases pretty good value for money but the truth is some things, like curtains,¬†(a totally overrated but necessary concept) which are properly lined and heavy duty, just don’t come cheap.

Bored of this we went to the top floor where they stock sports and fitness wear. You had to see it to believe it. The second mannequin in was wearing the Springbok jersey. There was a stack of them hanging against the back wall. Next to the All Blacks and the Aussie team (whatever they are called, Wallabies doesn’t sound right). The three rivals were almost equally represented against England, despite the fact this was an English shop. Although, in all fairness, it may be time to start discounting the English stock.

I felt strangely proud about this. And a bit confused. I know the airports sometimes stock rival teams but it’s unusual for shops to knowingly place rival countries so obviously on display. Or do I just not shop often enough for patriotic sporting gear?

The shirts were still ¬£60 each so my eyes watered a bit and I went away…

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