My Flatpack are Like My Lists

So I mentioned how I have been instructed to make a weekly to do list. To be honest, I have not done it for a fortnight. Once because I forgot and yesterday because I was depressed by the fact that I foresaw already I’m not going to achieve half of what goes on the list.

Because the damned lists go wonky in my life.

Like flatpack.

We bought a load of flatpack furniture at a certain very large store that specialises in such things. This concept does NOT exist in Africa. Where you expect furniture to be solid and arrive preassembled and carried in by three or four strong men, not you, trying to hire a van and stumbling around with a wheeled trolley thing, matching a jumbled series of item codes to random cardboard shapes in a warehouse that are miraculously meant to ‘grow’ into furniture. (Just add labour.)

We had to go to the store on a weekday to try minimise the number of rugrats. This was sort of negated because a certain demographic appeared to be using the store as free childcare while they went shopping across the car park at the supermarket. There was a serious lack of boxes but a lot of pram being pushed around the entrance areas by these people.

The flatpack has made plus one very happy in some ways. There is no space in the flat, it’s like tetris – you have to move a series of boxes to assemble and then move that item out the way to stack the next one. But he feels very male and empowered and the worst part for him and me is that occasionally he does require me to stand there and hold something up so he can drill it into place.

I think I’d be more excited by this if I was the one actually doing the assembly as I do like a good jigsaw puzzle. But he’s put off by the fact that I didn’t read the instructions on how to put the shelf support in and stuck the little metal foot in upside down. (No big deal, you just SWIVEL it the other way before inserting shelf.) He is convinced I show equally little focus when following lists or making them in order to tell him what I’m doing for the week.


I just know the flatpack went as wonky as my lists.

Or rather the wall did. I have my suspicion the flat pack is keeping the same dimensions. Unfortunately, plus one only measured the middle of the wall. Then drilled the shelving into the return of a corner where it is now fixed for life. When we tried to fit the very top unit above this, we have found it doesn’t fit into the corner. It’s too wide. Somehow the wall narrows when you get to the top of it. So although the units may line up on the one side, they don’t on the other.

Like life.

Nothing is perfectly symmetrical.

And it doesn’t follow to plan.




Filed under anecdote, balance, Housing, modern living, motivation

3 responses to “My Flatpack are Like My Lists

  1. Oh dear, Ikea. 😦 Those walls do have a habit of moving when you’re not looking. 😕

  2. Yes, my experience has been to leave the wall out of it as much as possible, but sometimes you just have to.

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