I hated high school.
Actually ‘hate’ is too strong a word. I did not like high school. I never felt ‘cool’ enough or ‘pretty’ enough along with the usual multitude of teenage insecurities. Graduating was actually a relief. Being able to admit being a little bit geeky meant that I was bright enough to advance the rest of my life. The ‘cool’ kids who studied further all now claim to have been awesome in their high schools. But that’s easy to do when noone who was at school with you followed you any further because the ‘cool’ ones are now in blue collar jobs or popping babies and the others went elsewhere to do other things. Noone knows you, the now awesome ‘cool’ kid is just the least geeky in a bunch of geeks and your hair did NOT look like that when you were younger. And that you were not the uber whatever you claimed to be.
So I thought when ‘real life’ began I’d be beyond the reach of high school politics and influences. How wrong I was.
Even at an age when I should be well beyond peer pressure, my headphones are picked, not just off customer reviews, but off the fact that a certain Scandinavian brand was THE brand used by most of my colleagues where I used to work, coming in in a range of colours and limited styles.
It still hurts when a large group go to lunch and they don’t ask me even if I already brought lunch and would have turned them down, I wanted to have that option.
I still have to report to home -how late I think I will stay out and with who, even though it’s to Plus One rather than the ‘rents.
I still detest the teachers pet brown noser types.
I’m still trying to work out how to wear high heels all day.
I still get white heads. And I still try squeeze them, even though I know better. Only sometimes they are near wrinkles which is inconvenient.
I suppose I should be glad I am not so old yet that these things all still matter. But how annoying they DO still matter. I’d hoping to be zen-like above them all by this stage.