I read a blog the other day and left a comment that perhaps the ‘troll’ who had acted all snippy to the blogger was simply feeling frustrated at being left out of the process of being a woman. Because, of course, all men want to be part of uncomfortable high heel shoes, stress about grey hair, once a month cramps and bleeding and childbirth. Apparently there was a woman in action event in the States and although a few men did go, they were obviously outnumbered. I thought the person who was against the writer was being rather unfair as men had been invited to the event, just not encouraged. I thought my current office was a bit unfair when they had a women in industry lunch they didn’t even let the men sit in if they wanted to for a free lunch. (Believe me, those men who would have dared to turn up would have been very quiet as there are some real dragons in this office who would have eaten them alive for sexism)
She wrote back a statement that she felt that women had been discriminated enough in the past and we deserved to have all women events with no XY chromosomes present – or something to that effect – because of what had happened to us in the past. Excuse me? Her past? My past? We are both fortunate enough to live in first world countries who have hopefully evolved far enough to realise what the word discrimination means even if the XY chromosome earns more than the XX one.
Don’t get me wrong. I’ve been trying to hold regular weekend lunches with my old team every few months. Although the team had men in it, they are mostly banned from attending or don’t want to. Additional extras in the forms of plus ones are definitely discouraged. As the one girl put it, she didn’t want smugly attached with significant other attached while we bitched about work and men. This was OUR time.
Neither do I want men in my change room at the gym or helping me out in the lingerie department. And to be honest, I would prefer if it is a full body massage you have boobs, real ones that might lactate, not just because you are fat.
But I didn’t agree we need formal all women clubs. I want to be able to go to the old all boys clubs, so how can I then exclude them from the womans’ ones. And lets face it, the boys clubs are more fun. They have single malt whisky and leather chairs and maybe strippers. The womens ones will just be about where to get botox and look how fat she’s got since she had kids in pastel colours with dainty china teacups and slender infinitely thin wine glasses instead of satisfying clunky crystal tumblers.
Likewise, I believe there ARE certain tasks better suited to certain sexes. Honestly, men are usually taller and stronger than women. That is why I keep them around. They can reach the top shelf in the kitchen and lift the heavy boxes for me. In return, because I have longer nails, I’ll unpick the knots on the rope that have been too tightly tied and even if I have a fear of heights, suffer to be the idiot on someone’s shoulders changing the lightbulb in the absence of ladder because I am lighter. I will ask for directions when we are lost so you don’t have to admit you didn’t know.
I don’t know why more jockeys aren’t women (probably as I don’t know enough about horse racing). We are naturally smaller with a lighter muscle mass. I prefer male fitness instructors. They are generally more engaged with their clients and push you harder while having a better sense of humour. (of course, I am GENERALISING)
The fact of the matter is evolution has meant we are different. If we weren’t we’d have to multiply like amoeba or earthworms which is not nearly as much fun. Of course women shouldn’t be considered less than men. But use your brain. Don’t confuse chivalry for sexism, keep everyone included and celebrate the differences.