On Neighbourly Love

There is a window to our room that has been sealed shut. Partly because the wood is swollen. Partly because someone painted it shut. Either way, it pretty much faces onto a brick wall about a metre away but it would be nice to crack it open for some cross ventilation.

The result is a protected ledge, untouched by man for years. A small colony of pigeons has taken this area as their mansion. Aside from the cooing and chirping associated with a couple in love, there have also been a few pigeon wars with feather, wings, backsides thrust up against the opaque glass as one or the other seeks leverage.

Worse, when nesting, the bored pigeon incubating eggs tends to tap incessantly on the window for attention at odd hours of the morning.

Once the nest have hatched, you see the babies strutting obscenely as dark grey shadows due to the opacity of the glass. This is annoying but tolerable compared to when they begin to learn to fly. At this point they tend to practice flying to a pipe on the wall a metre away and back. What actually happens is they tend to crash spectacularly into the window on return, having not worked out how the brakes work. I always hope at this moment they will fall to the ground and not return but somehow they do.

The issue with ferral pigeons is they are still homing birds. They keep returning like a bunch of fools to the same area year on year. I’m currently in a war where I rattle the glass at erratic hours of the day and night when I am in, resulting in Plus One complaining I am as annoying as the birds.

My secret hope is with spring coming, I can scare mamma off the ledge long enough her eggs freeze and the dynasty ends. I am not actually sure why I want to achieve this this badly. We will have to move in awhile anyways and our room converted to an amazingly overpriced flat. With pigeons on the window. Because that’s what you want to see when you paid a fortune for  your flat. Or pigeon proofing like spikey barbed wire for leprechauns on your window sill.

Then again, if you do open the window, you are just looking out onto a brick wall so your view are a bit restricted anyhow.



Filed under Housing

2 responses to “On Neighbourly Love

  1. Can we have photographs before you depart?

  2. I would be inclined to open it up and pay for the replacement of the glass, just to escape the tyranny!

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