I was in a shop the other day which has strong links to the United States. Okay, I’m not going to lie, it was Gap.
Gap is a cause unto its own and has scared me off ever going on a shopping trip to the States. I basically like Gap jeans because they come in a variety of cuts and moreover have very little detailing on them. No rhinestones on the pockets. No big fancy label stuck on the back advertising what size my waist is and the length of my leg (which is irrelevant as I am so stunted I generally have to cut the bottom off my jeans anyways. Moreover the jeans come in standard dark blues with no urban cool fading, precreased creases or strategically placed wear holes. I don’t want used looking jeans when I buy them, I want neutral ones that could almost pass as dark coloured pants if I want to wear them to work.
What does irk me about Gap though is their sizing. The Americans begin women’s sizing at 0. Oprah once had a huge uproar on her show when she claimed US manufacturers had moved the sizes down two spaces to make people feel thinner without actually getting thinner. This is possible but it does get a bit silly because some people are actually going to be a 00 or something. Which is like saying if 0 is nothing you have actually gone beyond nothing into the negative count.
The issue is Gap tells me smugly I need to look on the label and they give UK/US sizing conversions. These damned conversions do NOT work.
I try the size I think I am in the UK but it turns out to be too big. So maybe I am meant to be the UK size but as a US size? I try a size down from what I think is my size and it is still too big in one style but fits in another. I try one size down again in the style that was still too big. It turns out I have a retarded body. I am now two sizes too small according to the fittings guide but it is too loose on my hips and I feel like a sausage around the legs. There is nothing ‘skinny’ about skinny jeans – or rather the jeans may be skinny but if you are not also like a beanpole around the legs, good luck to you.
Of course, the problem may not be Gap. It may just be that I have short stumpy legs. I choose to believe it is the former not the latter. A girl has to at least TRY work on her self esteem.